What it feels like for a girl

I've had this blog stuck in my head for the past few days, but it never had an exact point to it, more of some kind of rant or brain to keyboard dribble.
So it feels like most of my life has been spent preparing for motherhood in some way, shape or form.
I am the eldest of four girls, all of whom I was expected to help with from a very young age, and with a big age gap between myself and my two youngest sisters, I became "assistant mum"
Every morning I'd get my little sisters ready for school. Clothes, hair, shoes, school bags, etc. I'd help my mum make dinner, do the washing, ironing, and cleaning. I was the perfectly trained, albeit extremely sexist and misogynistic, mini housewife in training.
As I grew into an adult I came to have more of a feminist view on this topic and for a long, long time I never wanted to be married or have children. I didn't want the role of housebound housewife.
But with all of these "duties" ingrained into me by my family and society, I gradually changed my mind for it to become something more acceptable to me. Being a wife didn't mean compromising who I was. I feel that my husband and I are equals in this relationship. I know that we will be able to teach our daughter about equality without making everything gender specific. I know that I won't tie her to any role because she is female. I will encourage her to try EVERYTHING she possibly can, and if anyone tells her otherwise she will have enough self confidence (and not in a snotty kind of way) to be able to prove them wrong!
I want to teach her to be a strong, confident person who loves herself and her family and that her gender does not dictate her life

Body Image

Now here is a subject that gets me riled up. Body image and the pregnant woman!

As an impressionable teen I hated my body. Too short, "fatter" than my sisters, the wrong colour hair, freckles, you name it - I hated it. Then as I grew up I realised that magazines and the media project these unreal images that you're supposed to be like. It was like a light bulb went off;

These lies = $$$ for them. 

Not only was I being subjected to these images on a daily basis, they were brainwashing me and my friends of what a body should be like. I decided for myself that I would not pass judgement on other peoples bodies. Why would it be my business anyway? But it is something that is hard to escape when it is shoved in your face with magazines, internet and television programs.

I've become aware as a pregnant woman that my body has become almost a free market to talk about.

"You look so big" Well thanks, I'm 5 feet tall, where else is this baby supposed to fit?

"You look small for * months" Oh, great. Now I'm depriving my unborn child

"I couldn't even tell you were pregnant from the back" Yea, that's because my baby isn't growing IN MY ASS!

Then the ads for weight loss bombard the telly and the gossip sites. I know I should keep away from both because they poison the brain, but when will this stop?

 Today I read about Jessica Simpson getting a deal with Jenny Craig. SHE GAVE BIRTH A WEEK AGO! When did this insanity begin? Mel B just did the same thing and for weeks we got to hear her "journey" back to her pre-pregnancy weight.

I understand that for some people - CELEBRITIES - that this may be possible, but I don't have access to a nanny, a nutritionist, a gym, a personal chef, or a paid weight loss program. Nor does the "average woman"

We are then sold their photo shopped magazine covers in hopes we can read their "miracle baby weight loss" stories and hate ourselves even more for our bellies covered in stretch marks and boobs that hang just that bit lower than they did before baby.

I will not buy into this bull shit. I will not let my daughter hate her body for no valid reason. I will not hate my own body for creating and housing a life.
I will not accept society's unrealistic visions of motherhood.

The Nursery

Even though Clem will be sleeping in our room, we decided to make a nursery for her with all of her things.
Totally inspired by the Ikea range, of course. Slightly woodlands theme meets the vegetable patch.

New baby etiquette

With D-day looming, I have been thinking about hospital, visitors and all the unspoken, yet expected "rules" of visiting a new baby. Some unknown mama-bear protective gene has kicked in and I have really been thinking about this a lot lately.

My main concerns are feeling pressured to give birth quickly and efficiently, noses pressed against the delivery room door, having enough bonding time as a family before people want to meet the baby, recovery time needed afterwards for myself, germs and sick people around my baby, baby being passed around like a football, and the list goes on!

I'm not one for unannounced visits, in fact, "poppy roundy" is my biggest pet peeve. That and less than a days notice are on par for most annoying thing ever! So, if you want to meet baby, CALL AND ARRANGE FIRST otherwise I won't be answering the door.

Some family alone time after delivery is 100% necessary for me. I think that it is really important for me, my husband and baby to bond after birth. That is time you will never get back. I can't emphasise how pissed off I would be if someone tried to intrude on that time for us.
Also, the hospital visit isn't really necessary. I hate hospitals and if everything goes to plan, I intend on being out of the quick smart. No extended stays for me. If it doesn't happen that way, chances are that I will be tired, sore and grumpy and definitely not in the mood for visitors.

Germs! This baby is going to be susceptible to every kind of germ and disease with her brand new immune system. Would it be rude of me to demand hand washing and sanitising? What about the current whooping cough epidemic, can I ask people to be vaccinated against it before they visit?  I am even a bit iffy about relatives kissing baby. Can I ask them not to? Will they pass her around like a football? I know I don't want my mother toucher her with filthy cigarette stained fingers. GROSS!

I purposely left all baby news off facebook knowing that there would be lots of unsolicited advice and comments. On April Fools Day I decided to put a photo of my 8 month bump up on my profile. Friends who I hadn't seen in months and years proceeded to send me messages, comments and emails asking if it was real. Some also passed judgement on my size (not knowing how far pregnant I was, as I didn't say) which I found incredibly rude and had to practically defend myself  against.
I know there is lots more advice on its way, so do I nod and agree or just keep my mouth shut?

Are there any tips you have to deal with visiting a newborn?

Weeks 26 - 31

Finally, the 3rd trimester arrived! All my cravings had disappeared and my energy levels seemed back to normal. My kitchen creativity came back and the nesting instinct kicked in. My bourgeoning belly became a real baby bump and lots of people felt it necessary to make comments on my size, which I found rude and intrusive (probably more so due to crazy hormones)

The evolution of the belly

Baby Shower

Although I had to be coaxed into the idea of a baby shower, I'm finally getting used to the idea. I'm not really into parties or being the centre of attention (or people randomly putting their hands on my belly) but we have decided to have a baby shower in lieu of ever having an engagement, housewarming or wedding. I guess one big party will be okay.
Ever the un-traditional couple, we are having a big family baby shower. In typical Maltese fashion there will be no less than 40 immediate family members (vegan Papa is from Malta) and whilst most showers are usually ladies only, we felt it only necessary for the entire family to celebrate the little Clam with us.

Invites by Hipp