Sunday, April 22, 2012

New baby etiquette

With D-day looming, I have been thinking about hospital, visitors and all the unspoken, yet expected "rules" of visiting a new baby. Some unknown mama-bear protective gene has kicked in and I have really been thinking about this a lot lately.

My main concerns are feeling pressured to give birth quickly and efficiently, noses pressed against the delivery room door, having enough bonding time as a family before people want to meet the baby, recovery time needed afterwards for myself, germs and sick people around my baby, baby being passed around like a football, and the list goes on!

I'm not one for unannounced visits, in fact, "poppy roundy" is my biggest pet peeve. That and less than a days notice are on par for most annoying thing ever! So, if you want to meet baby, CALL AND ARRANGE FIRST otherwise I won't be answering the door.

Some family alone time after delivery is 100% necessary for me. I think that it is really important for me, my husband and baby to bond after birth. That is time you will never get back. I can't emphasise how pissed off I would be if someone tried to intrude on that time for us.
Also, the hospital visit isn't really necessary. I hate hospitals and if everything goes to plan, I intend on being out of the quick smart. No extended stays for me. If it doesn't happen that way, chances are that I will be tired, sore and grumpy and definitely not in the mood for visitors.

Germs! This baby is going to be susceptible to every kind of germ and disease with her brand new immune system. Would it be rude of me to demand hand washing and sanitising? What about the current whooping cough epidemic, can I ask people to be vaccinated against it before they visit?  I am even a bit iffy about relatives kissing baby. Can I ask them not to? Will they pass her around like a football? I know I don't want my mother toucher her with filthy cigarette stained fingers. GROSS!

I purposely left all baby news off facebook knowing that there would be lots of unsolicited advice and comments. On April Fools Day I decided to put a photo of my 8 month bump up on my profile. Friends who I hadn't seen in months and years proceeded to send me messages, comments and emails asking if it was real. Some also passed judgement on my size (not knowing how far pregnant I was, as I didn't say) which I found incredibly rude and had to practically defend myself  against.
I know there is lots more advice on its way, so do I nod and agree or just keep my mouth shut?

Are there any tips you have to deal with visiting a newborn?


Sarah (compostkitty) said...

Message only those you want to know about the birth of baby. If you don't feel like visits straight away just say in the message or call you send out that you are not feeling up to visits just yet but will let you know when we are.

You are the new parents and the bonding time is very important.
sure some people think they can show up when they want but you have control of who you tell.
If people will talk and tell others hold off telling them until you feel up to having everyone know

Stacy said...

Great advice, Sarah! I have some family members who think the rules won't apply to them which makes things annoying even when I tell them directly

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