Post Partum Recovery

In my experience no one really tells you about the recovery part of having a baby. Everyone loves to share a birth story, coo over baby, give unsolicited advice, but no one ever tells you what your body goes through after giving birth.
I thought that as soon as I gave birth all of those horrible pregnancy aches and pains would disappear immediately, but here I am 5 weeks later with carpal tunnel, swollen hands, random cramps and other delightfully painful bits.
My c-section decided not to heal properly and I've been on antibiotics to clear up an infection, lochia seems never ending, boobs are exploding, and as for poop - let's not even go there!
Luckily I did my kegels, so I haven't had to deal with any of that and my emotional state is quite good considering my mental health history.
Sleeping has become a luxury. I had a few 4 hour blocks of sleep, but mostly it's 2 hours at a time. Nursing can be uncomfortable, especially in those nursing marathons that last for hours.
I guess the healing part takes time, after all, it took 9 months to get here.

The best laid plans of Mama and Clem

As the saying goes " The best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray" and how spot on it was for the birth of our little girl.
Thinking that I had planned every aspect of birth imaginable, Clem decided she didn't want things to go my way, instead we had to change everything we thought was going to happen and put our faith in the doctors, nurses and midwives to ensure our Clam's safe arrival.
So this may be a little TMI, but if you think that, then what are you doing reading a pregnancy blog, huh?
A few days before Clem's arrival I had been getting period pains and strong Braxton Hicks and that general feeling that she would be here any day soon. I was getting tired of being pregnant and ready to meet our little girl, so on Saturday I drank heaps of raspberry leaf tea, straightened my hair and went and did the shopping. We came home and had a spicy dinner and watched The Green Mile on tv. At 11.30 I was still feeling period-y, we were about to go to bed when I went to the bathroom and had a bloody show. I was so excited and scared at the same time. I checked the internet to see what would happen next, but it said it could take days for things to eventuate so we went to bed. At 2am I went to the bathroom again and there was more show, but slightly different colour. I went back to bed and shut my eyes for what seemed 5 minutes and felt a small gush. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom and realised it was my waters breaking. I noticed that the colour was a bit strange, slightly greeny brownish. I called out to the husband and got him to call the hospital, to which they replied to come in straight away as they feared the meconium may have leaked into the amniotic fluid.
We grabbed our bags and headed to the hospital and on the way there my contractions began, they were short and relatively painless at this point. By 2.45am we were at the hospital and I had to give a urine sample and they checked my amniotic fluid and confirmed that there was meconium present. That eliminated my plans of a nice, relaxing water birth then and there.
I was taken to a delivery room and hooked up to a fetal heart monitor, contraction monitor, a blood pressure monitor and a drip. The midwives were going to induce me for a natural labour but my body began contracting on its own at this point.
So far all my plans had been thrown out the window and I hadn't taken any labour classes because I assumed I'd be following what my body told me to do. Contractions at this point were lasting over a minute and getting stronger, longer and closer together. I was then given an internal check to see how far along I was. The midwife seemed a little concerned that something didn't feel right and checked for the baby's position again. BREECH. Somehow she had gone from fully engaged and then flipped upside down. They didn't know how and neither did I.
It was decided that I would be getting a caesarean immediately as her heartbeat wasn't fluctuating with the contractions either. They had another mother in theatre with an emergency, so I was kept in (drug free) labour until she was finished. At 8am I was taken into theatre, given an epidural (try doing that while you're having contractions) it gave me the worst shivers ever. I was numbed and cut open and at 8.48am our little Clementine Louise gave her first cry. I got to catch a quick peek at her before she was taken by Daddy to care for her while I was stitched back together and sent to recovery.
Recovery absolutely sucked. I sat there alone and drugged up while waiting to get feeling back in my lower half. For 2 hours I asked when I could go see my baby. I pretended I was The Bride from Kill Bill willing my toes to move so they would let me go see my family.
I was wheeled to the maternity ward and finally got to meet my little baby properly. She was perfect. 10 fingers, 10 toes. She weighed 3238g and was 48cm long.
In all of the scenarios I had imagined, this was definitely not one of them, but she was here and there were no further complications, so I felt incredibly lucky to be holding the tiny bundle in my arms.
We stayed in the hospital for 2 nights to monitor us both and came home on a rainy Tuesday morning.

What it feels like for a girl

I've had this blog stuck in my head for the past few days, but it never had an exact point to it, more of some kind of rant or brain to keyboard dribble.
So it feels like most of my life has been spent preparing for motherhood in some way, shape or form.
I am the eldest of four girls, all of whom I was expected to help with from a very young age, and with a big age gap between myself and my two youngest sisters, I became "assistant mum"
Every morning I'd get my little sisters ready for school. Clothes, hair, shoes, school bags, etc. I'd help my mum make dinner, do the washing, ironing, and cleaning. I was the perfectly trained, albeit extremely sexist and misogynistic, mini housewife in training.
As I grew into an adult I came to have more of a feminist view on this topic and for a long, long time I never wanted to be married or have children. I didn't want the role of housebound housewife.
But with all of these "duties" ingrained into me by my family and society, I gradually changed my mind for it to become something more acceptable to me. Being a wife didn't mean compromising who I was. I feel that my husband and I are equals in this relationship. I know that we will be able to teach our daughter about equality without making everything gender specific. I know that I won't tie her to any role because she is female. I will encourage her to try EVERYTHING she possibly can, and if anyone tells her otherwise she will have enough self confidence (and not in a snotty kind of way) to be able to prove them wrong!
I want to teach her to be a strong, confident person who loves herself and her family and that her gender does not dictate her life

Body Image

Now here is a subject that gets me riled up. Body image and the pregnant woman!

As an impressionable teen I hated my body. Too short, "fatter" than my sisters, the wrong colour hair, freckles, you name it - I hated it. Then as I grew up I realised that magazines and the media project these unreal images that you're supposed to be like. It was like a light bulb went off;

These lies = $$$ for them. 

Not only was I being subjected to these images on a daily basis, they were brainwashing me and my friends of what a body should be like. I decided for myself that I would not pass judgement on other peoples bodies. Why would it be my business anyway? But it is something that is hard to escape when it is shoved in your face with magazines, internet and television programs.

I've become aware as a pregnant woman that my body has become almost a free market to talk about.

"You look so big" Well thanks, I'm 5 feet tall, where else is this baby supposed to fit?

"You look small for * months" Oh, great. Now I'm depriving my unborn child

"I couldn't even tell you were pregnant from the back" Yea, that's because my baby isn't growing IN MY ASS!

Then the ads for weight loss bombard the telly and the gossip sites. I know I should keep away from both because they poison the brain, but when will this stop?

 Today I read about Jessica Simpson getting a deal with Jenny Craig. SHE GAVE BIRTH A WEEK AGO! When did this insanity begin? Mel B just did the same thing and for weeks we got to hear her "journey" back to her pre-pregnancy weight.

I understand that for some people - CELEBRITIES - that this may be possible, but I don't have access to a nanny, a nutritionist, a gym, a personal chef, or a paid weight loss program. Nor does the "average woman"

We are then sold their photo shopped magazine covers in hopes we can read their "miracle baby weight loss" stories and hate ourselves even more for our bellies covered in stretch marks and boobs that hang just that bit lower than they did before baby.

I will not buy into this bull shit. I will not let my daughter hate her body for no valid reason. I will not hate my own body for creating and housing a life.
I will not accept society's unrealistic visions of motherhood.

The Nursery

Even though Clem will be sleeping in our room, we decided to make a nursery for her with all of her things.
Totally inspired by the Ikea range, of course. Slightly woodlands theme meets the vegetable patch.

New baby etiquette

With D-day looming, I have been thinking about hospital, visitors and all the unspoken, yet expected "rules" of visiting a new baby. Some unknown mama-bear protective gene has kicked in and I have really been thinking about this a lot lately.

My main concerns are feeling pressured to give birth quickly and efficiently, noses pressed against the delivery room door, having enough bonding time as a family before people want to meet the baby, recovery time needed afterwards for myself, germs and sick people around my baby, baby being passed around like a football, and the list goes on!

I'm not one for unannounced visits, in fact, "poppy roundy" is my biggest pet peeve. That and less than a days notice are on par for most annoying thing ever! So, if you want to meet baby, CALL AND ARRANGE FIRST otherwise I won't be answering the door.

Some family alone time after delivery is 100% necessary for me. I think that it is really important for me, my husband and baby to bond after birth. That is time you will never get back. I can't emphasise how pissed off I would be if someone tried to intrude on that time for us.
Also, the hospital visit isn't really necessary. I hate hospitals and if everything goes to plan, I intend on being out of the quick smart. No extended stays for me. If it doesn't happen that way, chances are that I will be tired, sore and grumpy and definitely not in the mood for visitors.

Germs! This baby is going to be susceptible to every kind of germ and disease with her brand new immune system. Would it be rude of me to demand hand washing and sanitising? What about the current whooping cough epidemic, can I ask people to be vaccinated against it before they visit?  I am even a bit iffy about relatives kissing baby. Can I ask them not to? Will they pass her around like a football? I know I don't want my mother toucher her with filthy cigarette stained fingers. GROSS!

I purposely left all baby news off facebook knowing that there would be lots of unsolicited advice and comments. On April Fools Day I decided to put a photo of my 8 month bump up on my profile. Friends who I hadn't seen in months and years proceeded to send me messages, comments and emails asking if it was real. Some also passed judgement on my size (not knowing how far pregnant I was, as I didn't say) which I found incredibly rude and had to practically defend myself  against.
I know there is lots more advice on its way, so do I nod and agree or just keep my mouth shut?

Are there any tips you have to deal with visiting a newborn?

Weeks 26 - 31

Finally, the 3rd trimester arrived! All my cravings had disappeared and my energy levels seemed back to normal. My kitchen creativity came back and the nesting instinct kicked in. My bourgeoning belly became a real baby bump and lots of people felt it necessary to make comments on my size, which I found rude and intrusive (probably more so due to crazy hormones)

The evolution of the belly

Vegan Health

Although we have a relatively healthy diet and all blood work has come back great, there are still a few things I take and make sure I eat to keep the little Clam healthy.
For the first 3 months I was taking a Vegan Pregnancy vitamin by DEVA. I found it made my morning sickness worse, so I stuck it out for the first 12 weeks then changed to FLORADIX. Floradix was much easier to find locally and gave me no sickness afterwards.

Excellent Resources for Vegan Parenting

To get my body and brain prepared for a vegan pregnancy I enlisted the help of a few books.
I knew there would be a barrage of questions from midwives and family on this topic, so of course I had to arm myself with the right knowledge and make sure I was doing the right thing for the Clam and I .

I found these on Book Depository (free shipping) and Herbivore Clothing.

Weeks 19-25

By the time little clam had reached 19 weeks her kicks were so strong that they could be felt from the outside. (I'm convinced she's practising kung fu in there.)
Every now and then there is a quiet day, quickly followed by a day of bouncing non-stop or a cute little butt lodged between my hip and ribs.

Weeks 13-18

At the 13th week the sickness subsided and belly started to grow. A tiny little bump progressed until I had to get new pants to fit again.
Going to work was challenging, I was quite tired and eating lots now that my appetite was back.
Then along came the shingles. 2 weeks of pure hell and pain.
Around the 16 week mark I had begun to feel little bubbles in my belly.
By the 18th week an ultrasound proved that little clam was a girl, as we had already guessed.

Weeks 6-12

And like clockwork, the morning sickness began. Or should we say, ALL DAY AND NIGHT SICKNESS! I couldn't stand to eat a lot of things, even one of my favourites - broccoli. The smell of cooking food, the sight of a full plate and even just the smell of the oven pre heating was enough to make my stomach shrivel.